blasphemy...

Been watching the Robotech series on DVD the other day, the first installment or Macross Saga. To the best of my memory, the Robotech series that I grew up on (public tv not cable of course) was a little bit different than this boxed set. I remember Rick and Lisa Hayes riding off into the proverbial sunset (he made the better choice in my opinion) and left Minmei in the dust.

That ending I remembered concluded with episode 27, but I was surprised to find a total of 36 episodes in the set, almost like someone tried to tack on an extra "ps" or throw their modern spin on the series. Needless to say I was livid. Enough to the point I had to get on the net and do my wikipedia research. I'm still not done, but what I did find was enough to make me go to bed crying.

So below, from left to right, is a pic of the voices behind the American version of Robotech: The Macross Saga, or Lisa Hayes (my pre-teen heart throb), Rick Hunter, and Lynn Minmei.

Good night cruel, cruel world. My pre-teen crush on foxy anime Lisa Hayes is forever shattered...

Vampires do not drive Volvos

So it was during my visit to the movie theater last Friday night that I experienced what may possibly be the most god awful, over-rated, cheesiest movie production ever filmed (in my humble opinion). The name of said vomit inducing, comatose making production? Twilight. This movie is offensive to me in so many levels, not only does it warrant a rant blog, but there's so many insults to hurl I don't know where to begin.

First of all, 4 words. BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER!!! I know, I know, the story isn't the same, Twilight is made for today's young teens, etc, etc. Whatever! It's a story about a vampire, and a human, and their forbidden love. Don't have to be a rocket scientist to see the rip-off. Been there done that. BTVS, Underworld, Queen of the Damned...c'mon, be a little original.

But copying the main theme of other vampire movies like BTVS is where the similarities end. The entire script for this movie is horrible, it's like it was written by 5 year olds on a weekend sugar bender at Chuck E Cheese. Vampire lore has been around for some time, but the liberties taken in this movie with vampires would make Bela Lugosi roll in his grave. I mean, vampires that have skin that sparkles in the sunlight??? Um, hello?!?! Sunlight is supposed to KILL OR BURN vampires, not make them shimmer like Mariah Carey at the Hard Rock. Also, vampires do not play baseball last time I checked my legends and myths dictionary (unless the vampire is a baseball bat...get it?). And last but not least, Vampires do not drive Volvos! Where's the beat up old school 64 Dodge van with the coffin in the back?

Don't even get me started about the actors and their so called acting. The main guy who plays Edward looks like he's going to regurgitate his femur when he first sees the Bella chick. That's his way of trying to hide how much he's attracted to her? Give me a break. Vampires are supposed to be mysterious, that's a given, but this guy acts date rapist creepy one minute, and higher than Jay and Silent Bob the next. Also, what I don't get is that this character is supposed to be so beautiful to look at, but I honestly think his face looks like Edward Scissorhands on crack.

I could spend days going off on the part where the rogue vampire chases down Bella from Washington to Arizona in the span of a day by running like the Speedy Gonzalez. I mean, if they are going let the Vampires drive Volvos in the movie, you might as well let them fly coach!

Now I don't consider myself an actual movie critic...well...because for one I'm not that much of an asshole, and two because my tastes in movies is questionable to others at best. My DVD collection has easily offended the Academy time and time again, and Blockbuster has denied my requests for certain video rentals. But I do consider myself a sort of movie connoisseur. I like the good stuff like To Kill a Mockingbird and Shawshank Redemption, but I have no shame in watching Earth Girls are Easy or ConAir. But I have to say without a doubt that this movie is quite possibly the worst movie ever made, replacing Weekend at Bernies 1 and 2. I never found myself cursing the stars so much to get back my 2.5 hours back from AMC that they stole from me forever. If the book is sooooo good as Oprah and everyone says it is, then by golly someone better hunt down and shoot the script writer and director, and the studio better ask for their money back!


Oh, and for the record, Krush Grove is gonna be the bigger movie than ET. Time's gonna tell on that one.

gotta run before you can walk...

K, so the voting pretty much seems a done deal and it's gonna be Obama over the ice queen. I say the ice queen because I pretty much don't consider McCain the actual presidential nominee for the Republican Party. It's pretty obvious they were relying on the strength of Fey, oops I mean Palin, to win the white house once more for the Republican horde. Boy was that a bad hand to play, can you say "all reds?"

Say what you want about the presidential race and all, everyone's got their spin/perspective on it. Black, white, female, gay, etc.. But what I always think about is... there's got to be an easier way to do this voting stuff (well, there's got to be an easier way to do everything. Take for example the flying car....) We can pay our bills online, file taxes, but yet we can't seem to get a legit way of voting for our next leader of the free world? I can blog with more ease than it took for me to cast my ballot today. I'd love a minority in the white house as much as the next person (unless that person is Nancy Grace) but you give me a Republican that will allow me to vote for them via text like Dancing with the Stars, and that guy (or ice queen) has my vote.

Yes, sometimes I can be just that lazy.

But I did vote for Obama today, much to the chagrin of my other (better) half, and all I could think of when I drove away from the polling stations was "God, I hope I didn't leave any hanging chads, or miscast my vote," and "boy hope I didn't just vote for the anti-christ."

I don't know...somewhere I could have sworn I read it prophesized that the anti-christ would be a charismatic, smiling sonuvagun that would sweep people off their feet into eternal damnation with his sweet talk. This, depending on who you are, this could have been either candidate. Oh well, only time will tell, but the only thing we know for sure now is, Obama will be the anti-christ for most places of the South, and especially on Nancy Grace.

Joe the who...?

Debates shmates. Given the overal IQ of the american public, I think this is where our presidential election process is slowly moving towards...



I would vote for the guy who only owns one house as well, but c'mon. Wouldn't you vote for the guy who can pop and break dance to Krush Groove? A guy (or gal) like that really deserves my vote. Just can't wait until they bust a move in the middle of the United Nations....

move it along...nothing to see here....

just got back from a little mini vacation. headed out to vegas, then flagstaff, AZ to check out the grand canyon. Intelligent design or plate tectonics nothing. Someone or something made this sucker, I doubt it was just a little bit of rain.

...when Jaws popped out of the water...

I asked the big question back on july 4th, and got the answer i've been waiting for so long for! This is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with...




more to come soon

excitement? adventure? a jedi craves not these things...

In this usually mundane world, I think it takes the little things to help you gain perspective and appreciate more of what this life has to offer. Case in point, our kitten pissed on our bed this morning. And not just a little tinkle, I’m talking full on golden showers, enough to impress the Germans. Right on top of the brand new sheets that Linda bought last week no less.

So why did she do it? It might have to do with the fact that we placed her cat box outside and didn't bring it in last night. Or to show displeasure that there was another cat in the house this morning, so basically marking her territory. But I'd like to think that she was the shepherd, the sheets were the valley of darkness, and she was laying her vengeance on the self-righteous, and the tyranny of evil men. No wait, sorry I was watching Pulp Fiction last night before going to bed.

No, basically Lilo (the kitten named after Disney’s Lilo & Stitch, not the young starlet turned hooker) needed to piss and couldn't hold it until any longer. So we had to put the sheets in the washer stat, change her cat box with new kitty litter, and then run around the house chasing Lilo to get her back into the house so we could get off to work. We lost 10 minutes off our commute time in the process, but I’d like to think we gained a little bit out of the whole ordeal. It kind of helped us to laugh at the moment, forget about our rush to be off to work and all those other adult responsibilities, and just take a step back to look at our lives and appreciate it for what it is. A morning full of kitty piss on our bed, being late to work, and sitting behind smell ass homeless guy on the train to work.

On a lighter note, my director brought in some pastries from Porto’s bakery. YUM…good shit. This morning is looking up after all…