Thursday, April 17, 2008

dodger-mania...or last night's dodger game

so apparently the Dodger's all you can eat pavilion is not all the frills and thrills they lead you to expect when you combine baseball, the human wave, and all you can eat dodgers dogs/nachos/peanuts/soda. But what the heck, "take one for the team man" was our attitude, so Linda and I decided to check it out yesterday and get our 50th anniversary dodger blankets in the process.

Well, i should have thought that "all you can eat" would entice all the gluttons, and sure enough it did. These are the portly guys and gals who take up almost 2 bench seats by themselves. Also, this being a special promo night, everyone came out to pick up their "free" blanket. I emphasis "free" because the blankets aren't free, after spending $85 bucks on tickets, $15 on parking, and $20 on beer (beer ain't all you can drink...dammit) we already spent $120 bucks by the time the first pitch was underway. Anyhoo, after 3 innings, we were already missing our season loge level seats. The crowd was so ghetto, they were throwing chewed hot dogs around, people were fighting over seats...just ridiculous, pure mayhem. Don't even get me started on all the little kids running amok, jesus h. christ parents, CONTROL YOUR KIDS!!!.

So 3 innings is all we could take, we packed it in, headed out and watched the end of the game at a local brewery. Moral of the story today kids is STAY AWAY from the all you can eat pavilion. Probably stay away from the stadium as a whole, their new parking system still sucks balls and is too much effort for what's its worth sometimes. But oh well, time to write a letter to Joe Torre.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

smoke and mirrors...

how does one choose what to blog about? there are several random events during the day that instigate an urge to blog (ooh i should blog about this or that, chelsea clinton is a douche, or when or when not to use the word "inclusive"). rather than use the blog as an online gay diary (back off GLAAD), for today i think i'll just highlight the days events so i can look back one day and say, "damn that's pretty pathetic, you had no idea what to blog about that day did you, you numbskull?"

today I...

1) woke up/got to work late because i stayed up late watching the old school Popeye movie with Robin Williams and Shelly Duval. Another example of why not to let old people get ahold of comics and make movies out of them.

2) bought a pack of maui melon mint Orbitz gum. not too shabby

3) did some work, answered some calls, phased in and out of time in order to bridge the gap from 9am to 530pm. saved the world in the process.

4) did some detective work on when is the best time to visit maui. apparently halloween is the islands version of mardi gras. should be fun, coconut bra flashing here I come!

5) updated my status on facebook and myspace

6) bounced to Coolio's "Fantastic Voyage" on Sirius

So on an end note, Chesela is a douche because she is out campaigning for her mom, but refuses to answer reporter's questions, even if the reporter is a pseudo-reporter, or 9 year old boy. Also, she refuses to address the fact that her dad got a bj while on the job...oh as president of the USA, and LIED about it on national TV...she forgets how this little event only helps the argument that you can't trust the Clinton family, that they are a bunch of 2 faced liars (well show me a politician who isn't...) So um yeah, vote for my mom cuz she ROCKS!


also, doesn't Chris Paul look like Carlton?

Monday, April 7, 2008

too much cable tv sucks...

no such thing as too much cable tv you say? well there is too much if you've been stuck in the house all weekend long sick with a stomach flu.

glenn beck sucks balls, he is an ignant mofo, but i have to admit he can be funny as all hell.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

true office confessions

because A LOT CAN happen between 9 and 5. If you work in an office, or just plain work for the MAN then you may or may not have visited Its a total slacker website where plebeians like myself focus about 50% of our time when we should be doing actual work. The premise is simple, you go to the website and reveal your office "confession" or basically recount your horrors of what you observe going on in the workplace.

Well, paging Dr. is my confession for today. Some asshole nutjobs keep putting 2 packets of coffee into the coffee machine in the hopes that it will some how magically make the coffee more stronger. This ain't Starbucks bitches! It's not the same as giving yourself an extra shot of expresso to get your jollies on. But what is the same as is making a complete f'n mess of the place and duping poor souls such as myself into drinking horribly shit tasting coffee.

So why don't I simply brew a new pot of coffee with only 1 packet? I normally do, but these asshats have done the impossible of breaking 3 consecutive coffee machines in a matter of a few months. By putting 2 packets of coffee grounds in the machine, the machine gets backed up, overflows, and short circuits the electrical panel of the machine. And it now looks like the coffee machine barfed all over the break room floor.

Ignore the fact that there are warnings posted around the coffee machine to brew only 1 packet at a time, but of course these morons happen to be call office "technicians" who know all there is about jack shit. Sure, they can tell you what the Oakland Raiders record has been for the past 10 years, but they sure as hell can't brew a single pot of coffee.

So now the coffee machine is broken again once more and I have to seek outside means to get my cup of grog, rather than grab a cup of what should normally be an easily accessible (and free) cup of joe.

Screw that I'm going home and grabbing a beer. Later y'all!

That was just uncalled for

I'll have to agree with my co-worker's blog today, Fresh Baked Cookies located @ I don't think I see blogs as a useful tool for the ordinary joe or joette to spout some profound wisdom, or uncanny insight. Unless of course you're one of those extraordinary autistic kids, the dali lama, or DJ Run (whoooo's house????). I have to agree, reading someone's blog is a good old substitute of catching up on what's "going on witcha y'all" rather than calling or sending a post card. Lots more time to formulate your thoughts, post a dirty pic, crack a joke or two, and embellish a little if need be to make your ordinary trip to the grocery market sound much more epic.

So, that said, my boring ass life this morning so far consisted of:

1) missing my train by like 5 seconds
2) freezing my arse off for 10 minutes while waiting for the next train
3) finding a hole in my sweater big enough to poke a pencil thru after i got to work
4) accidently dropping my sugar packets into my coffee while grabing some joe
5) sitting and banging my head on my desk to kill time as i wait for 5pm

Oh well, time to pay some bills, surf the web, then jump on a meaningless conference call. Be back later!