Friday, December 26, 2008

and to all a good night...

December 25th and every other day of the year...Merry Christmas to all our loved ones, family, friends, and neighbors. You are always in our minds and hearts...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Good Day Sir!

Isn't Wally Wonka & the Chocolate Factory just the best???

Monday, December 8, 2008


Been watching the Robotech series on DVD the other day, the first installment or Macross Saga. To the best of my memory, the Robotech series that I grew up on (public tv not cable of course) was a little bit different than this boxed set. I remember Rick and Lisa Hayes riding off into the proverbial sunset (he made the better choice in my opinion) and left Minmei in the dust.

That ending I remembered concluded with episode 27, but I was surprised to find a total of 36 episodes in the set, almost like someone tried to tack on an extra "ps" or throw their modern spin on the series. Needless to say I was livid. Enough to the point I had to get on the net and do my wikipedia research. I'm still not done, but what I did find was enough to make me go to bed crying.

So below, from left to right, is a pic of the voices behind the American version of Robotech: The Macross Saga, or Lisa Hayes (my pre-teen heart throb), Rick Hunter, and Lynn Minmei.

Good night cruel, cruel world. My pre-teen crush on foxy anime Lisa Hayes is forever shattered...

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Vampires do not drive Volvos

So it was during my visit to the movie theater last Friday night that I experienced what may possibly be the most god awful, over-rated, cheesiest movie production ever filmed (in my humble opinion). The name of said vomit inducing, comatose making production? Twilight. This movie is offensive to me in so many levels, not only does it warrant a rant blog, but there's so many insults to hurl I don't know where to begin.

First of all, 4 words. BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER!!! I know, I know, the story isn't the same, Twilight is made for today's young teens, etc, etc. Whatever! It's a story about a vampire, and a human, and their forbidden love. Don't have to be a rocket scientist to see the rip-off. Been there done that. BTVS, Underworld, Queen of the Damned...c'mon, be a little original.

But copying the main theme of other vampire movies like BTVS is where the similarities end. The entire script for this movie is horrible, it's like it was written by 5 year olds on a weekend sugar bender at Chuck E Cheese. Vampire lore has been around for some time, but the liberties taken in this movie with vampires would make Bela Lugosi roll in his grave. I mean, vampires that have skin that sparkles in the sunlight??? Um, hello?!?! Sunlight is supposed to KILL OR BURN vampires, not make them shimmer like Mariah Carey at the Hard Rock. Also, vampires do not play baseball last time I checked my legends and myths dictionary (unless the vampire is a baseball bat...get it?). And last but not least, Vampires do not drive Volvos! Where's the beat up old school 64 Dodge van with the coffin in the back?

Don't even get me started about the actors and their so called acting. The main guy who plays Edward looks like he's going to regurgitate his femur when he first sees the Bella chick. That's his way of trying to hide how much he's attracted to her? Give me a break. Vampires are supposed to be mysterious, that's a given, but this guy acts date rapist creepy one minute, and higher than Jay and Silent Bob the next. Also, what I don't get is that this character is supposed to be so beautiful to look at, but I honestly think his face looks like Edward Scissorhands on crack.

I could spend days going off on the part where the rogue vampire chases down Bella from Washington to Arizona in the span of a day by running like the Speedy Gonzalez. I mean, if they are going let the Vampires drive Volvos in the movie, you might as well let them fly coach!

Now I don't consider myself an actual movie critic...well...because for one I'm not that much of an asshole, and two because my tastes in movies is questionable to others at best. My DVD collection has easily offended the Academy time and time again, and Blockbuster has denied my requests for certain video rentals. But I do consider myself a sort of movie connoisseur. I like the good stuff like To Kill a Mockingbird and Shawshank Redemption, but I have no shame in watching Earth Girls are Easy or ConAir. But I have to say without a doubt that this movie is quite possibly the worst movie ever made, replacing Weekend at Bernies 1 and 2. I never found myself cursing the stars so much to get back my 2.5 hours back from AMC that they stole from me forever. If the book is sooooo good as Oprah and everyone says it is, then by golly someone better hunt down and shoot the script writer and director, and the studio better ask for their money back!

Oh, and for the record, Krush Grove is gonna be the bigger movie than ET. Time's gonna tell on that one.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

gotta run before you can walk...

K, so the voting pretty much seems a done deal and it's gonna be Obama over the ice queen. I say the ice queen because I pretty much don't consider McCain the actual presidential nominee for the Republican Party. It's pretty obvious they were relying on the strength of Fey, oops I mean Palin, to win the white house once more for the Republican horde. Boy was that a bad hand to play, can you say "all reds?"

Say what you want about the presidential race and all, everyone's got their spin/perspective on it. Black, white, female, gay, etc.. But what I always think about is... there's got to be an easier way to do this voting stuff (well, there's got to be an easier way to do everything. Take for example the flying car....) We can pay our bills online, file taxes, but yet we can't seem to get a legit way of voting for our next leader of the free world? I can blog with more ease than it took for me to cast my ballot today. I'd love a minority in the white house as much as the next person (unless that person is Nancy Grace) but you give me a Republican that will allow me to vote for them via text like Dancing with the Stars, and that guy (or ice queen) has my vote.

Yes, sometimes I can be just that lazy.

But I did vote for Obama today, much to the chagrin of my other (better) half, and all I could think of when I drove away from the polling stations was "God, I hope I didn't leave any hanging chads, or miscast my vote," and "boy hope I didn't just vote for the anti-christ."

I don't know...somewhere I could have sworn I read it prophesized that the anti-christ would be a charismatic, smiling sonuvagun that would sweep people off their feet into eternal damnation with his sweet talk. This, depending on who you are, this could have been either candidate. Oh well, only time will tell, but the only thing we know for sure now is, Obama will be the anti-christ for most places of the South, and especially on Nancy Grace.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Joe the who...?

Debates shmates. Given the overal IQ of the american public, I think this is where our presidential election process is slowly moving towards...

I would vote for the guy who only owns one house as well, but c'mon. Wouldn't you vote for the guy who can pop and break dance to Krush Groove? A guy (or gal) like that really deserves my vote. Just can't wait until they bust a move in the middle of the United Nations....

Saturday, August 9, 2008

move it along...nothing to see here....

just got back from a little mini vacation. headed out to vegas, then flagstaff, AZ to check out the grand canyon. Intelligent design or plate tectonics nothing. Someone or something made this sucker, I doubt it was just a little bit of rain.

Friday, July 18, 2008

...when Jaws popped out of the water...

I asked the big question back on july 4th, and got the answer i've been waiting for so long for! This is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with...

more to come soon

Thursday, June 5, 2008

excitement? adventure? a jedi craves not these things...

In this usually mundane world, I think it takes the little things to help you gain perspective and appreciate more of what this life has to offer. Case in point, our kitten pissed on our bed this morning. And not just a little tinkle, I’m talking full on golden showers, enough to impress the Germans. Right on top of the brand new sheets that Linda bought last week no less.

So why did she do it? It might have to do with the fact that we placed her cat box outside and didn't bring it in last night. Or to show displeasure that there was another cat in the house this morning, so basically marking her territory. But I'd like to think that she was the shepherd, the sheets were the valley of darkness, and she was laying her vengeance on the self-righteous, and the tyranny of evil men. No wait, sorry I was watching Pulp Fiction last night before going to bed.

No, basically Lilo (the kitten named after Disney’s Lilo & Stitch, not the young starlet turned hooker) needed to piss and couldn't hold it until any longer. So we had to put the sheets in the washer stat, change her cat box with new kitty litter, and then run around the house chasing Lilo to get her back into the house so we could get off to work. We lost 10 minutes off our commute time in the process, but I’d like to think we gained a little bit out of the whole ordeal. It kind of helped us to laugh at the moment, forget about our rush to be off to work and all those other adult responsibilities, and just take a step back to look at our lives and appreciate it for what it is. A morning full of kitty piss on our bed, being late to work, and sitting behind smell ass homeless guy on the train to work.

On a lighter note, my director brought in some pastries from Porto’s bakery. YUM…good shit. This morning is looking up after all…

Thursday, April 17, 2008

dodger-mania...or last night's dodger game

so apparently the Dodger's all you can eat pavilion is not all the frills and thrills they lead you to expect when you combine baseball, the human wave, and all you can eat dodgers dogs/nachos/peanuts/soda. But what the heck, "take one for the team man" was our attitude, so Linda and I decided to check it out yesterday and get our 50th anniversary dodger blankets in the process.

Well, i should have thought that "all you can eat" would entice all the gluttons, and sure enough it did. These are the portly guys and gals who take up almost 2 bench seats by themselves. Also, this being a special promo night, everyone came out to pick up their "free" blanket. I emphasis "free" because the blankets aren't free, after spending $85 bucks on tickets, $15 on parking, and $20 on beer (beer ain't all you can drink...dammit) we already spent $120 bucks by the time the first pitch was underway. Anyhoo, after 3 innings, we were already missing our season loge level seats. The crowd was so ghetto, they were throwing chewed hot dogs around, people were fighting over seats...just ridiculous, pure mayhem. Don't even get me started on all the little kids running amok, jesus h. christ parents, CONTROL YOUR KIDS!!!.

So 3 innings is all we could take, we packed it in, headed out and watched the end of the game at a local brewery. Moral of the story today kids is STAY AWAY from the all you can eat pavilion. Probably stay away from the stadium as a whole, their new parking system still sucks balls and is too much effort for what's its worth sometimes. But oh well, time to write a letter to Joe Torre.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

smoke and mirrors...

how does one choose what to blog about? there are several random events during the day that instigate an urge to blog (ooh i should blog about this or that, chelsea clinton is a douche, or when or when not to use the word "inclusive"). rather than use the blog as an online gay diary (back off GLAAD), for today i think i'll just highlight the days events so i can look back one day and say, "damn that's pretty pathetic, you had no idea what to blog about that day did you, you numbskull?"

today I...

1) woke up/got to work late because i stayed up late watching the old school Popeye movie with Robin Williams and Shelly Duval. Another example of why not to let old people get ahold of comics and make movies out of them.

2) bought a pack of maui melon mint Orbitz gum. not too shabby

3) did some work, answered some calls, phased in and out of time in order to bridge the gap from 9am to 530pm. saved the world in the process.

4) did some detective work on when is the best time to visit maui. apparently halloween is the islands version of mardi gras. should be fun, coconut bra flashing here I come!

5) updated my status on facebook and myspace

6) bounced to Coolio's "Fantastic Voyage" on Sirius

So on an end note, Chesela is a douche because she is out campaigning for her mom, but refuses to answer reporter's questions, even if the reporter is a pseudo-reporter, or 9 year old boy. Also, she refuses to address the fact that her dad got a bj while on the job...oh as president of the USA, and LIED about it on national TV...she forgets how this little event only helps the argument that you can't trust the Clinton family, that they are a bunch of 2 faced liars (well show me a politician who isn't...) So um yeah, vote for my mom cuz she ROCKS!


also, doesn't Chris Paul look like Carlton?

Monday, April 7, 2008

too much cable tv sucks...

no such thing as too much cable tv you say? well there is too much if you've been stuck in the house all weekend long sick with a stomach flu.

glenn beck sucks balls, he is an ignant mofo, but i have to admit he can be funny as all hell.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

true office confessions

because A LOT CAN happen between 9 and 5. If you work in an office, or just plain work for the MAN then you may or may not have visited Its a total slacker website where plebeians like myself focus about 50% of our time when we should be doing actual work. The premise is simple, you go to the website and reveal your office "confession" or basically recount your horrors of what you observe going on in the workplace.

Well, paging Dr. is my confession for today. Some asshole nutjobs keep putting 2 packets of coffee into the coffee machine in the hopes that it will some how magically make the coffee more stronger. This ain't Starbucks bitches! It's not the same as giving yourself an extra shot of expresso to get your jollies on. But what is the same as is making a complete f'n mess of the place and duping poor souls such as myself into drinking horribly shit tasting coffee.

So why don't I simply brew a new pot of coffee with only 1 packet? I normally do, but these asshats have done the impossible of breaking 3 consecutive coffee machines in a matter of a few months. By putting 2 packets of coffee grounds in the machine, the machine gets backed up, overflows, and short circuits the electrical panel of the machine. And it now looks like the coffee machine barfed all over the break room floor.

Ignore the fact that there are warnings posted around the coffee machine to brew only 1 packet at a time, but of course these morons happen to be call office "technicians" who know all there is about jack shit. Sure, they can tell you what the Oakland Raiders record has been for the past 10 years, but they sure as hell can't brew a single pot of coffee.

So now the coffee machine is broken again once more and I have to seek outside means to get my cup of grog, rather than grab a cup of what should normally be an easily accessible (and free) cup of joe.

Screw that I'm going home and grabbing a beer. Later y'all!

That was just uncalled for

I'll have to agree with my co-worker's blog today, Fresh Baked Cookies located @ I don't think I see blogs as a useful tool for the ordinary joe or joette to spout some profound wisdom, or uncanny insight. Unless of course you're one of those extraordinary autistic kids, the dali lama, or DJ Run (whoooo's house????). I have to agree, reading someone's blog is a good old substitute of catching up on what's "going on witcha y'all" rather than calling or sending a post card. Lots more time to formulate your thoughts, post a dirty pic, crack a joke or two, and embellish a little if need be to make your ordinary trip to the grocery market sound much more epic.

So, that said, my boring ass life this morning so far consisted of:

1) missing my train by like 5 seconds
2) freezing my arse off for 10 minutes while waiting for the next train
3) finding a hole in my sweater big enough to poke a pencil thru after i got to work
4) accidently dropping my sugar packets into my coffee while grabing some joe
5) sitting and banging my head on my desk to kill time as i wait for 5pm

Oh well, time to pay some bills, surf the web, then jump on a meaningless conference call. Be back later!